There is this urban myth that owners of BMWs are assholes. Is this true? Could it be that there is more concentration of assholes driving BMWs than any other vehicle? No one knows for real but there are theories as to how this might be. I have known many BMW owners in my life. Some are just fantastic assholes and that is what got me interested. I was starting to see a pattern and as my life goes on the pattern becomes clearer to me. Why might this be I ask?
There are few possible reasons for BMW owners being dicks. Here they come.
- Research done be the University of Vienna with a collaborator from University of Florida found that people often see fronts of cars as faces or face-like. The front of a BMW does have something of a bird of prey look. Young bucks still not out of the “I drive a cool car phase” want to look cool. Buying the less expensive BMWs and drive around like the jerks they are. At some time in their life many of them will grow up and buy a Mercedes.
- To people of class the obvious choice would be a fine Mercedes. To “step on anyone to get up the corporate ladder type” the BMW is just the same because they just don’t know the difference.
- When looking for a spouse a human is said to be more likely to find a spouse that has likeness in facial features to him. This might translate just fine when looking at the angry looking front of the BMW. Being an angry cruel asshole the average BMW owner feels like looking in to a mirror when choosing his first BMW to take home. Well it’s a theory… LOL
- The BMW is usually fast. Testosterone is linked with aggression. Drivers who are aggressive might also like fast cars. One might be tempted to link the fast driving, aggression and testosterone with the behavior of the typical BMW jerk.
- Flashy cars do attract women. Yes they do. If you want to be wanted one of the ways is to drive a BMW. Guys in the business of attracting women with flashy cars are also often pricks.
- Drug dealers like BMW. A quick Google search shows it clearly, and you know google is never going to fail LOL. They also like Mercedes and Cadillac, Hummer, Toyota, Honda and Lincoln. I am surely not trying to link drug dealers to BMW. Although the only drug dealers I have known and known off have driven a BMW.
- Lawyers, the standup guys they are often drive BMW. I am not a lawyer. This is probably just envy.
- I do not know why but there are quite a few steroid eating super muscled guys around me that drive BMWs. Being of the type that does anything to get to a goal they fit just fine. With every dose of steroids they eat they also eat automatically a bit of aggressive behavior and become the asshole the BMW needs.
- Bankers… I rest my case.
NOTE: If you are a BMW owner you might not be an asshole. It is certainly possible though unlikely.
And finally something of a riddle.
What’s the diff between a BMW and a porcupine?
Porcupines have pricks on the outside.
Then again this might all just be a case of global BMW envy.